Partway through your solo time, you find yourself feeling unloved, even though you yourself chose to be alone. It's a common example of how being alone can change our perceptions, and it's dangerous.
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Believing that no one loves you can lead you to make decisions that are bad for you, and perhaps for others as well. The holidays are a time for parties and gatherings and if you mention to your friends and acquaintances that you have no holiday plans, you will likely wind up with several invitations. Even if that doesn't happen, there's an almost limitless supply of places where you can volunteer during the holidays, either participating in a fun local event or bringing cheer to a hospital, senior center, homeless shelter, or animal shelter where it's needed.
If you don't know where to look, this website is a start.
Is any of this a cure for loneliness? If you've lost a loved one this year, or seen a relationship end, or if your family members are far away, a holiday party invitation or volunteer job won't stop you from missing them or feeling lonely. Like this column? Sign up to subscribe to email alerts and you'll never miss a post. The opinions expressed here by Inc.
More from Inc. In school, I was blissfully unaware of how to financially navigate the real world — I had to work this out for myself. APR, insurance and overdrafts were like a foreign language to me, and it seems I was not alone. According to a recent study , more than a third of people wish there had been lessons in school on how to budget, a further third would have appreciated classes on the importance of insurance. I wish that before I left school somebody had told me to stop worrying about what the future held and to make the most of the present time.
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One tip I would give to school leavers is to use summer holidays and spare time wisely. Research has shown that students who have a gap year achieve more highly at university than students who enter university straight after school and mature age students. Having worked in a number of different countries it is true, travel really does broaden the mind. Do something that will enrich your life and that will take you out of your comfort zone. Employers will always look favourably on the efforts taken by go getters who have gone out and done work experience.
Work experience or volunteering is a great way to network and exposes you to a range of core workplace activities, including teamwork, communication skills and how to use your initiative.
If I could give my year-old self any piece of advice over and over again it would be not to be scared of rejection. Getting job rejections can be emotionally difficult and frustrating but it can also be a useful springboard to reassess your goals. There are many different pathways to get to the same destination. You can look at alternative pathways. You can remember and honor the love. Now more than ever, be gentle with yourself.
Thanksgiving, Christmas, Chanukah, New Years These are the biggest and usually most challenging of all. Ways to externalize the loss — give it a time and a place A prayer before the Holiday dinner, about your loved one. Light a candle for your loved one. Create an online tribute for them. Share a favorite story about your loved one.
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Have everyone tell a funny story about your loved one. At your place of worship remember them in a prayer.
Chat online about them. Do allow time for the feelings. Do allow others to help. We all need help at certain times in our lives. Just help. Find ways; invite them to group events or just out for coffee.
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Do, in grief, pay extra attention to the children. Children are too often the forgotten grievers. Are You a Grief Professional? Learn the essentials of self-care to stay strong, helpful and happy. Are You Dealing with Grief? Are you or a friend in grief?
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